| Location | Widnes |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Premature Birth |
| Date of Birth | 24/03/2008 |
| Date of Death | 24/03/2008 |
| Visitors | 6,787 since 27/04/2008 |
| Creator |
Evan Thomas Whittaker
Born and passed away on 24th march 2008 aged 18 1/2 hours.
Beautiful son of Paula & Steven Whittaker.
Baby Evan died as a result of complications during pregnancy. The membranes surrounding him ruptured
at only 18 weeks into the pregnancy. The doctors said he would be born within 72 hours, and even if
he wasn't born in that time he would almost certainly catch an infection which could kill mum and
baby.If this didn't happen and he lived they said he would not continue to grow properly,his lungs
wouldn't grow and he would have deformities of his limbs due to not having enough fluid to move
around in. We were sent home to wait for him to die.
However what the Dr's didn't know was that Evan was a little fighter who didn't do as he was told!
Evan wasn't born at 18 weeks, he did continue to grow, he never caught an infection, and he moved
about all the time!
Evan continued to thrive inside his mum until he was born prematurely at 29weeks on Easter Monday
weighing 2lb 9oz. He was a beautiful,perfect baby,including his limbs, and continued to fight all
day. Unfortunately though his little lungs were underdeveloped due to the loss of fluid so early
on,and after 18 1/2 hours he could fight no more. Evan went peacefully to sleep in his mummy and
daddy's arms.
Although we are heartbroken and miss our little man like mad, we are so proud of the way he
continued to fight and always will be. We are glad we had the chance to cuddle and kiss Evan, and
tell him how much we loved him-something we couldn't have done if he hadn't fought so hard in trying
to prove the Dr's wrong.
God bless sweet pea,love & miss you forever, love mummy and daddy x x x x x
Also love to our little angel baby, who grew wings on 8th March 2007 at 8weeks gestation,&our
tiniest angel, lost september 2008 at 4 1/2 weeks gestation. Love you both angels,play nicely with
your brother Evan, we will all meet again one day x x x x
Our letter to Evan from mummy & daddy.
Darling Evan, it is difficult to know where to begin talking about you, so I guess a good place to
start is at the very beginning of your life.
You were the baby your mummy and daddy desperately wanted, and after months of fertility treatment,
we finally found out we were expecting you on a beautiful Saturday morning in September. We really
couldn’t believe we were lucky enough to be having you, infact mummy sent daddy out to buy five
more tests just to make sure it was true!
But true it was, and we were so happy, although those first few weeks of your life weren’t easy
and you gave us quite a few scares. We prayed every day that you would carry on growing, and sure
enough every week when we would see you on scan you kept on getting bigger. It made us so happy to
see you waving at us, and we loved you so much from the minute we knew you were growing inside
mummy.
As you got bigger, it was obvious you had your own little personality already-lets just say you were
very determined! You liked to stay up late, and get up late too- and so help anyone who disturbed
your sleep!! You made it quite clear you didn’t like to be woken up early by the neighbours dogs,
or the crying babies in the hospital. This was obvious by the force of your kicks- you were clearly
unhappy with the noise! You also let the midwives and the doctors know that you didn’t like to be
poked and prodded by kicking them hard, and constantly hiding from them when they tried to listen to
your heartbeat on the monitors. You even earned yourself the nickname ‘posh spice’ in the
hospital because of this! You seemed to like chocolate, cheesy wotsits and carrot cake, but you
weren’t so keen on rhubarb or red meat- mummy learned about this very quickly! You also liked to
kick your little feet to Kylie Minogue! Despite your short stay on earth with us, we feel we knew
you so well already.
The name Evan means ‘young warrior’ in Celtic, and Evan that is so true of you. You battled on
inside your mummy for months and you continued to defy the odds of the doctors who first treated
you. They said you wouldn’t make it past 18 weeks- you hung on until 29 weeks. They said you
wouldn’t grow properly- you were the perfect size for your age.
They said you wouldn’t be able to move around much inside your mummy, especially after the steroid
injections- you were never still, particularly after the steroids! Infact you moved around so much
you earned yourself another nickname amongst your family- Dora the explorer!
It should be pointed out here that the doctors also said you were a girl-again you proved them
wrong!
You continued to battle on, and your determination meant that you got to live outside of mummy for
18 ½ hours when you decided it was time to come out on Easter Monday. The doctors were surprised by
you again- you put up such a fight and were so strong considering the size of your tiny lungs and
your age. Even then you still managed to fight with the doctors and nurses, pulling at your
breathing tubes.
You continued to fight all the odds for 18 ½ hours Evan, but sadly your little body was just too
small and too tired from all the fighting you had had to do for the past 29 weeks. You managed to
hang on until mummy was well enough from her operation to come and be with you and daddy, and then
you went peacefully to sleep in our arms.
Although our hearts are broken Evan, and we cannot understand why you weren’t allowed to stay with
us, we want you to know that we are so, so proud of you beautiful boy. We wish you could have stayed
with us for a lot longer, but we will always be grateful for the precious time we had with you,
before and after your birth. Having you for that short time was worth all of the heartache and
stress- you made us a mummy and daddy, and we will always be proud of the way that you fought so
hard.
The name Evan also means ‘God’s precious gift’, and you were the most beautiful, precious gift
we have ever known. We will love you and miss you forever, you will always be in our hearts and we
will never forget you.
In the words of the song that mummy and daddy would always sing to you from the moment we knew you
existed Evan, you are our sunshine, our only sunshine, you make us happy when skies are grey, and
you’ll never know just how much we love you. Sleep tight our precious angel with your big brother
or sister, until we all meet again you will be our bright sunshine in the sky.
Love you always, mummy and daddy x x x x
For Paula & Steven
There is a little corner
That I visit every day,
No-one knows I go there
Or how long that I stay.
In this little corner
I speak to you alone,
I think what it would be like
To have you here at home.
In the little corner
I hold you really tight,
I cuddle, kiss and squeeze you
You're such a lovely sight.
In my little corner
I tuck you up to sleep,
I sneak another cuddle
I have another weep.
Where is this little corner?
It's where we're never apart
Where I always have you with me;
It's the corner of my heart.
Hello my gorgeous little man. I am missing you so much today,like every other day.
Mummy is so loney without you baby,especially since your daddy went back to work. I sit here on my own wondering why the world is carrying on when you are gone & i am stuck here without you. Doesn't the world know or remember that you're gone,doesn't it care??? Doesn't anybody care anymore??? The world seems to be moving on & leaving us behind baby,& i'm sick of acting like everything is ok when it's not. Nobody understands how painful it is to be on maternity leave without your baby,or how every little thing reminds me of my pain. I try to distract myself by going out but even that makes me sad because every where i go there are painful reminders. Other mummies & daddies with their children,especially the ones with little boys,just make me so sad because it makes me think of everyting im missing out on doing with you. I even had to come home from watching your cousins doing sports day because it made me so upset to know i will never get to watch you do that. Every where i go there are baby boys being pushed around in their prams-the same one we were going to buy you. I had a whole list of things to buy you,all picked out, but never got the chance. It's not fair you were taken from us after you fought so hard. You should be here with me now. I am fed up of trying to fill the gap in my life that you going has left-nothing makes me feel better,i wish someone could.
I will never forget you baby,& even though the world keeps on turning & i get up every day & put on my 'mask' for every one, i will always be thinking of you & wishing you were here, & not a day will go by where i won't be missing you-mummy has just had to become a very good actress.
Please don't ever forget me Evan, i will love you all of my life like you loved me all of yours. God bless sweetpea x x
to evan a special little boy
hello evan, i hope you are playing nicely with all your angel friends, i have an angel too i hope you find each other and play nice. your mummy loves and misses you she is very special, brave lady. stay close to her and look after her. thinking of you always much love and floaty kisses to you special boy. julie. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sweet Angel Evan
Hello sweet Evan, im popping in to let you know your mummy misses you olots and I hope you are close by at the moment, pop into her dreams and let her know that you are safe x
You are a beautiful Boy who will continue to grow into a handsome Man, floaty kisses always x
Theresa ( angel Ashleighs mummy)
For Paula & Steven
If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
and share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
are impossible for me.
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there
It's me, your little Angel
Just checking in with you.
I know you're sad
because I'm gone,
and Mummy I'm sad too.
It's beautiful here,
wherever I am,
there's such a lovely view.
But mostly when I'm sitting here
I'm looking down at you
I see all your feelings,
everyday when I look down,
I love to see you smile
and I know sometimes you frown
But guess what?
I have a job to do.
God saved it for your little boy.
I get to watch over you
and protect you from the world.
So though you cannot see me
and I know it's hard on you,
You'll surely see the benefits
of the job God has me do.
mummy\'s sorry.....
so sorry that i couldn't make the hospital listen to me, that i couldn't make them see i was leaking fluid before it all broke completely. I'm so sorry i didn't shout & scream at them until they listened,that i let them make me feel like an over anxious mummy who didn't know what was normal & what wasn't. I'm sorry they made me feel so ashamed for worrying that i just let it go until it was too late. I'm so sorry i let you down sweetheart, that i let you die. If i could turn back time i would do it in a second, i would make them listen to me. I would have tried harder to save you. I know i did everything after my waters broke to save you,but it was too late then. I should have listened to my own instincts & not to the hospital,but i thought they knew best. I'm sorry little man, i hope you can forgive me because i can't forgive myself. I love you so much darling, from your mummy x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
No Mummy ever tried harder to give their baby every chance Paula. I am so sorry that this is how you feel. Please come and see me soon, I've got a big hug waiting!! I'm sure Evan knew how you fought for him. He was a little fighter, but he didn't fight his battle alone. You were fighting right along with him. XXX
Hello sweetpea! Mummy was thinking about you on her walk home today & every time i got sad i came across a white feather-were all of them from you little man? Thank you my darling,it really helps me to know that you are with me all of the time. Love you lots my precious baby Evan x x
Hello my gorgeous angel! You know sometimes mummy still has to pinch herself when she thinks about you Evan, as she can't believe she could have such a perfect,gorgeous little boy. You were all my dreams come true when i had you, but losing you was my worst nightmare. Sometimes i wake up & think, 'was it all a bad dream losing you? Are you still in my tummy,happily kicking away & demanding your carrot cake?' Then it all comes back to me-i had you,i lost you,& i can't ever wake up from this bad dream.
I miss you & i love you all the world sweet pea. No one can ever replace you & no one will ever love you & miss you as much as me & your daddy,or understand how bad it hurts us to have to carry on every day without you here with us. Daddy loves & misses you just as much as mummy, he just can't find the words to write on here, but he tells you every day when he comes to your grave. I hope you never forget how much we love you darling. God bless you, night night little man. Give angel a big kiss from mummy& daddy too- we miss and love you both x x x
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